What are we attracting?

I've been thinking a lot lately about the law of attraction and how we can manifest people, places and things into our lives with the energy that we put into the universe. 

And as I reflect I can see how through my lifetime I have been creating a world in which I felt I had no control. 

Think for a moment how at times in your life you have wished for something to happen and have believed with all your heart that it is what you needed,  and then you've recieved this amazing gift and been filled with gratitude at the life you have.  

Think again of another time when you've wanted something in your life but instead of a belief that you could have it,  you felt  deeply that you didn't deserve it or that you couldn't get it,  and then you didn't. 

I have experienced both of these and have wondered why is it that sometimes I get my hearts desire and others I don't.  I have questioned the unfairness of this and thought that the universe had been conspiring against me,  that I never get what I want.  Of course this is untrue and a manifestation of my self obsession running riot,  but lately this line of thinking has given me pause for thought. 

My life was a series of events that left me wounded,  empty and without direction.  It left me feeling as though my life had no purpose and that it was inevitable that I  would be miserable and discontent and then, I was shown another way to live my life. 

I was told that my thinking was the problem and that I had to have a complete re-adjustment in this area if my life was to change.  And so with the guidance of those around me I started to make these changes in my thinking,  I started to challenge the status quo in my head and replace it with healthier more loving thoughts about myself and my life. And lo and behold my life began to change. 

I smiled,  I laughed and the universe began to unfold before me. And I  began to realise the power of positive thought and action. 

Now, I'd love to say that this is a lesson I learnt and never forgot but this would be untrue.  What I have discovered on my journey is that at times of stress,  fear and even excitement and happiness I can forget that my thoughts and actions create my reality. And that at these times it is incredibly important what I think about myself and how I  act that out.

Recently I have been provided with another opportunity to look at this and have once again been amazed at the way in which I manifest my life and at the core of it all is how I see myself and how I act as a result of this. 

The person I am today is in such contrast to the girl  I was for many years,  but she is not gone. She sits and waits in the quiet,  in the darkness. And in times of doubt she presents herself. Now this in and of itself isn't a problem,  if I remember she's there,  if I remember to love and care for her as I would my own child and I acknowledge the life that she has lived. But sometimes I don't and that is when my thinking becomes of the old and damaging variety. 

It is a great responsibility to care for our inner child as the results of not doing so can lead to further heartache and devastation. And these can be painful to experience.