Intimacy
There is but one way to look at intimacy. Isn't there?
I remember several years ago now as I was learning more about myself, it came to my awareness that my beliefs around intimacy were off centre and came from a time in my life where the messages I was receiving were not always reliable in content.
As a young girl embarking on my own journey into adulthood my understanding of intimacy was that it was only the physical kind that truly mattered. And this was motivated by a need to be wanted and a need to be enough for someone outside of myself, as I couldn't find it within.
Imagine if you will me, a woman in the world, sitting with my therapist and they are describing to me what intimacy is. They described it like this - 'In To Me See'. Apart from the confusion I felt at such a broad statement, I was mortified! I had spent my whole life under the guise of hiding myself in partners and bad decisions. The very thought of someone seeing into me was horrific and terrifying. I mean, if anyone saw the real me, they would run far away.
Wouldn't they?
This story that had started as a thought all those years ago as a young girl was now firmly fixed. It was so entrenched in me that the very notion that I was to now allow people to SEE ME was repulsive and went so against what I believed that I rejected this idea and went about my usual way of life.
But something had changed. A spark had been ignited in my consciousness, what if I was wrong? What if all the information that had been running around in my head for my whole life was incorrect? What if I could have a life so different from the one in which I was living? What if intimacy was not what I thought it was?
Those early moments of questioning grew and every time I did something that went against a loving caring action something was triggered within. This doesn't mean that it was an easy process or that I didn’t have to do the healing work, it just meant that I started to question the long-held beliefs that I had. And I began to let go of the beliefs that had been limiting me in my life.
Today the journey of learning continues to amaze me, my ability to fall into old patterns can still pop up, however my awareness has grown and I can no longer sit in the pain of that action.
This journey continues to provide me with opportunities for growth – I am educated by the world around me, my support systems, and YOU the person reading this. The ones that come into see me with their own beliefs that they know are no longer working for them.
This is the real inspiration of my life – my fellow light shiners who are willing to do the work and shine a light inside.
So, as we go forward into the coming week let’s take a chance! Share with another human being something of yourself and feel the light that shines within as a result.
Until next time, keep shining my lovelies