Finding the light
As a woman in the world I have taken on many roles - the child, the mother, the funny girl and the professional. However, the most destructive to my true essence has been to take on the role of the non-woman.
What does this mean?
It means that throughout my life I had moved slowly away from my femininity, from my softness, and as a result had become hardened to my true essence of womanhood.
My early life experiences taught me that softness was something to be hidden, it spoke of vulnerability that meant powerlessness and weakness that often led to pain, and it told me in the quiet of those times that I must at all costs keep it hidden.
At this time, I made a choice, an unconscious choice to abandon my true self in favor of a hardened and tough person who could handle anything.
The reality of doing this is that it weakened me and created a space for further pain.
My journey of recovering has been about becoming my true self, the person I was always meant to be and so I have come to Her and found Me.
From the head to the heart my journey continues and with it I have found the freedom to be ME, to express myself in my wonderfully unique and feminine way.
I have been shown the way by women who have gone before me, some have touched my life in such a way that I will never be able to repay and some I have never met but have been revealed to me through their teachings.
The road ahead is unclear, I cannot say exactly what it will reveal, but what I know intrinsically and deeply is that it will lead to discoveries of self that I will hold dear, it will bring with it challenges to the stories that are so deeply entrenched in my psyche and it will bring love and compassion for my true self.
My life today shines brighter than I could ever have imagined and part of that has been to stop the fight, to lay down my weapons and to love openly, fully and without barriers to myself and others.
Today my friends look within to your true selves, reach in and acknowledge Him, Her or Them, and embrace what you find. Lay down your weapons of self-destruction and learn to love the one who is closest to you, YOU!
And remember to continue to shine the light inside